For All These Things

I’m not sure everyone who knows me would describe me this way.

Emotional.  In fact, deeply emotional.

I joke that it’s my parents warring in my personality.  My mother was very emotional while my father was very controlled.  The truth is that my father needed that control for his own emotional state while my mother learned the emotional control needed as a nurse.  Neither of them were one or the other.  None of us are.

Where my emotional personality affects me most deeply is when I think I’ve failed.  I actually do better when I think I’m being unappreciated.  That just makes me angry and I can work with angry.  It’s when I feel I’ve come up short somehow that becomes a profoundly emotional time for me.  I’ve learned to deal with it over the years in various ways.  First, I always let myself have a good dose of self pity.  I throw myself a nice sized pity party and just wallow in it.  Length varies based on the level of the event.  Losing a job is good for at least 3 days.  But there’s a defined end to the party.  At that point I have to move on.  It works for me.

The other alternative is trying to cut it off at the pass.  When I start to feel down, when I start to feel disheartened I look for inspiration.  At that moment all those hokey inspirational videos can be a god send for me.  I can’t explain why they work for me.  Honestly it’s a little embarrassing to be a middle aged guy and admit how much I am inspired by them.  But I am.  Works for me and that’s all that counts.

Saw two of them today.  The first reminds me to never give up, to never accept the world’s definition of who I am and what I can do.  The second reminds me that sometimes we need one another.  At times like that we need to be willing to go beyond our own needs in this world.


This week I am thankful for –

Those people who work to keep me inspired,

The young people that I have walked with who have become more than folks thought they could be,

The good day after the bad night.

For that I am truly thankful.


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